“My heart will go on….”
Oh no, 7:48 am and the siren wails.
Singing Sally is on my floor.
We have this women I like to call singing Sally, she is one of the old timers here at the Company. I’ve never seen her actually doing any kind of work, ever! I’ve asked a bunch of people exactly what she does (or what she is supposed to do) and not one person has a clue.
I can’t tell you what she is supposed to do but I can tell you what she does do.
She sings!
She literally roams the halls singing. She’ll sing whatever is on the radio, she just sing whatever pops into her head if no radio is in the immediate vicinity, she’ll even FREAKIN’ HUM tunes while you’re having a conversation with her.
Now, in her defense she does perform with local theatre companies putting on musicals and I was dragged to one them and will admit she is good and that type of thing BUT the office has no room for the Freakin’ Phantom of the Opera!
Ok, so the singing gets louder as she approaches my office, at 7:48 there aren’t a lot of denizens in the building (42 minutes prior to the designated start time). She must see my light is on and is drawn to it light a fly is drawn to one of those bug zappers. I guess any inspiring Broadway diva heads toward the lights…
So she spins around my door frame, leg first, picture a 70 year old stripper straddling a stripper pole. Singing that dastardly song from Titanic. I guess she feels it’s her job to serenade people first thing in the morning, but what she doesn’t realize is that the 70 year old stripper straddle makes most people throw up in their mouths.
“Yes Sally, what can I do for you?” I’m trying to eat my breakfast (A salted bagel with plain cream cheese and a large cup of black coffee – in case you were wondering.)
Continuing this vomit inducing serenade she keeps singing, completely ignoring the question. This is nothing new, she’s in her own little world.
She starts waving her finger, pointing at me and then pulling her finger towards herself like she’s calling me over or some other twisted thing she has going on in her mind.
“Not now, I’m eating and then I have to get to work.” Between you and me that work consisted of reading the sport section of the local newspaper for the next 37 minutes but she didn’t need to know that.
She waddled away as she broke into an old Britney Spears tune.
…and then she was gone, and I still have no idea what she does!