WTF…
Ok, the skinny, unkept half of the skank sisters was at it again. Today of all days, hungover after a night of bourbon, beer and slow dancing, I did not feel like hearing it.
“You used all my fucking tissues you asshole”, screeched skank sister # 1.
The skank sisters are the dynamic duo of gossip and misery at the office. Skank sister # 1 is the tall lanky, bitchy one. She’s the one who will scream at you first thing in the morning about using her last tissue.
Skank # 2 is the more short and dumpy one of the duo. She not much of an “in your face” type of bitch but more of a gossip spreading, back stabbing fucker who will get you fired in a heartbeat, then laugh, that cigarette induced husky laugh, as she tells the story to her little lunch room clique.
“WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”, I barked back with a slightly annoyed yet inquisitive look on my face.
The truth of the matter is that I did use her last tissues. So what? If you cared so much about your tissues then don’t leave the box on top of your fucking desk!!!
7:52 on a Friday morning, I’m as hung over as sailor the morning following a day’s leave in Tijuana and I STILL haven’t had any coffee!
“Leave my office before a shove a box a tissues straight up your skinny, little ass!”
She huffed and puffed, gave me the stink eye and FINALLY turned around and left my office.
I could tell already, the tissue crisis was NOT over.
Ok, so it all begins here. Almost 8:00 am, I’ve ALREADY had a skank sister in my office and I’m hungover as a bastard.
Just another day at the office…